9 February 2017, 5 pm
But then, just when I am feeling fed up and personally responsible for Brexit, I get the nicest email ever. It says that IP Inclusive, even though it is informal and untransparent and unaccountable, is going to win an award for namby-pambiness. The proper title of the award is “Corporate Social Responsibility”. Although we have already established that there is nothing responsible about IP Inclusive, or its leader. I am invited to a posh gala dinner to collect the award. Yay! This means a new posh frock! I need a new one because the old ones are designed for a figure I have not got any more and possibly did not have at the time I bought them either but they looked nice on the mannequin. I am supposed to keep this all hush-hush because it is like the Oscars and no one is supposed to know the lucky winners in advance. So I shall probably have to shoot myself for writing about it in my Secret Diary. But in any case, it is going to be no secret once I turn up at the posh ceremony, because everyone will know I am not there to collect any of the other awards, for instance for being a great patent attorneyette or a hot-shot IP lawyer. I shall have to tell my family, anyway, to explain the new frocks which will be arriving by courier over the next few weeks.
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