17 June 2015, noon
The CIPA Officers gather around the too-small table with a picnic lunch. Each has interpreted the term “picnic lunch” differently. The VeePee, for instance, is partial to sausage rolls and crisps and ginormous chocolate buttons, but because he is on a diet he is sharing the chocolate buttons with the rest of us. The EyePeePee is there too, and the EyeEyePeePee, whose butties have sooty fingerprints on them. In the meeting the other Officers tell me off again for sending too many emails. They tell me we are going to have a new System for dealing with this. I am to write a single email, but I am to keep writing it throughout the week until it is a ginormous email, like the chocolate buttons, only not for sharing. And then once a week we are going to have a telephone call to catch up on all the things that are in my ginormous email. The telephone call is going to be at 9 pm. I know why they have done this. It is because they know that by 9 pm I will be a gin and tonic or three short of a clue where to find the ginormous email.
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