25 February 2016, 5 pm
Mr Davies has meanwhile found the ideal way of making the massive party look respectable. He has re-branded it as an OGM. He cunningly gets me to chair this OGM, so that I am complicit in the whole sorry affair. Of course what it actually is, is five minutes of procedural guff followed by an hour and a half of free drinks and canapés. This is such good fun that I almost forget I am meeting one of my sons for dinner and Mr Davies actually does forget to get on the train he was supposed to be catching to Stevenage. The free drinks are good but the canapés have been miniaturised again. I suspect EyeEllSee involvement. Luckily, I tell people, once the new Bye-laws come into force we will no longer have to do these OGMs full of procedural guff. We will be able to skip straight to the free drinks and canapés. And we will not have to ask people to put ticks in boxes to approve the election of new Fellows because there will be a proper procedure for this which happens, like it does in any normal organisation, without the need for quorate meetings and ballots. Someone says: but I have come here specially to hear my name read out and sign the magnificent, cobwebbed, five-volume book of CIPA members that Mr Davies brings with him to every OGM. And Mr Davies looks a bit sheepish and says, ah, yes, The Magnificent Book. He says, I have not brought it with me because it is Very Special and we cannot risk losing it. How can you lose a five-volume book, I wonder? Mr Davies says you would be surprised; we have lost it twice already. Mr Davies promises to take the book specially to the disappointed new Fellow who wanted to sign her name in it. He will instantly forget having said this and thanks to the free drinks, she will no doubt instantly forget why it was she was so keen to sign the book anyway. Such is life.
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