22 March 2016, 3 pm
The interviews are going swimmingly well. Even I can tell that. As I disappear gracefully under the table – or perhaps not so gracefully; it is hard to say from here. The ITMA Pee and I have been asking the questions about getting on with the regulated community. Will you be nice to patent and trade mark attorneys? we ask. Of course, they say. Do you think patent and trade mark attorneys are brilliant? we ask. Yes indeed, they say. I put some ticks in the highly organised table I have prepared beforehand. It is a kind of personal scoring system to determine which of the candidates will be nicest to patent and trade mark attorneys. This is called being Objective. Actually, I am quite proud of myself to have got this far. Most of what I needed to function was on my laptop, and only two-thirds of my laptop is now alive. This means that only two-thirds of me is operational, and two-thirds of very little is hardly enough to run an interview session. 22 March 2016, 4 pm We are on candidate number 3. I am on biscuit number 5. Lunch seems a long time ago. Dinner is not going to happen. The ITMA Pee and I are taking it in turns to ask the questions. Neither of us has yet managed to get the word “blancmange” into the proceedings, but there is still time. 22 March 2016, 6 pm We are on candidate number 5. I am on biscuit number 11 and Red Bull® number 3. Still no one has mentioned blancmange, but one of the candidates confesses to having read my blog so my credibility has been blown out of the water anyway. I may as well go the whole hog and mention trifle with all the trimmings. Outside, the sun is way below the London skyline and everyone in their right mind has gone for a drink. 22 March 2016, 7 pm The last candidate has left and now we are supposed to make a decision. I have no Red Bull® left. I am too tired even for biscuits. They were strong candidates. Except possibly the one who said that the important thing about chairing board meetings is to be well prepared, but had forgotten to be well prepared for the interview. We cannot agree on which of the three best candidates is the bestest. They have all promised to be nice to patent and trade mark attorneys. They have all promised to be nice to the IPReg Board and staff. They have all promised to be nice to the Legal Services Board and the Ministry of Justice. I say: we should have asked them their favourite gin, like I suggested, then I’d have known who was the bestest. The gin question always sorts them out. But we did not ask the gin question. Or the blancmange one. So, having spent a lot of the day asking candidates how they achieve consensus in meetings, we are unable to achieve it for ourselves. I suggest it is time we all went home, particularly me since my home is a long way away. I say, we should sleep on this and think about it some more and then tomorrow we will agree who’s actually the bestest. The others say: no, wait, let’s argue for a bit longer. No really, I say, it is time to go home. Blancmange, says the ITMA Pee.
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