30 June 2016, 2 pm
It is time for our Special Council Meeting. We must decide what CIPA is going to do about Brexit, other than cry. My elder son is home from uni, and has kindly volunteered (no, really) to take the wheelchair for a spin. I remind him to take Grandma with it, also the anorak. And no, I say, it is not an all-terrain vehicle. Me, I have a big pile of ironing to do, which should see me nicely through the meeting. I am only dialling in, after all. If I put the phone on mute they need never know I am being a domestic goddess at the same time. I am a woman; I can multi-task. It is a constructive meeting. Many Council members have turned out for it – apart from the slackers like me, of course, who couldn’t be bothered to travel to London and wanted to be home for the football. First we talk about What Will Happen to the UPC Now? We decide that we are roughly in favour of the UPC continuing, which I kind of thought went without saying but it feels better to have a proper Council decision on it. We are not yet sure by what mechanism the UPC will continue, but it’s the thought that counts. Then we talk about What Will Happen to Trade Marks Now? And Designs? And Copyright? And Plant Variety Rights? And the Nagoya Protocol? And we cannot agree on the answers to these questions, which is funny really because I am sure the people in charge of implementing the Brexit vote – the people within Her Majesty’s Most Noble and Wise Government – have meticulous plans for such things. Then someone says: But what if English ceases to be an official EU language? And we laugh, because such a thing would be Ridiculous and Outrageous and almost certainly Impossible. But there is a hint of nervousness in our laughter, because we thought pretty much the same about a Brexit vote. Finally, we talk about all the shouty things that Mr Lampert has prepared about Brexit, and all the shouty things he should prepare next, like a shouty video for example. Mr Davies and Mr Lampert are going to set up a special part of the CIPA website for these shouty things, so that everyone can see what CIPA is going to do about Brexit, other than cry. This special part of the website will be called a Landing Page, on account of that is the technical term for special parts of websites these days. I suspect it will not be a very full Landing Page. I suspect that anyone who lands there is going to feel pretty lonely. But it will be more informative than anything Her Majesty’s Most Noble and Wise Government has said about its Brexit plans thus far.
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