25 November 2015, 10.30 am
Because I am now Important and A Little Bit Famous, I am going to be interviewed by a journalist. The journalist is very friendly and he has brought a lady journalist along too, in case I start doing girly things like crying or falling in love or rummaging in my handbag. He asks me what I have been doing in my time as President. Naturally I do not tell him the truth. Instead I tell him all the things I wanted to do, and all the things I have told other people I have done, and all the things I am just about to do honest. The truth is, of course, that mostly I have been compiling a to-do list and every weekend I spend an hour thinking what an impressive set of plans I have and moving all the dates on by a month until eventually they end up in the period when someone else is Pee. The truth is that I have not had time to do many of the things on the to-do list, and the ones I have done have resulted in complaints. I tell the journalists that CIPA has been Engaging with its Stakeholders. This is what Mr Lampert told me to say. They ask: Who are these Stakeholders that you have been Engaging with? I knew there was a reason I shouldn’t have said what Mr Lampert told me to. I say: They are the people we have been Reaching Out to, because CIPA is a Thought Leader and a Go-To Organisation and it will head up the Key Mindset-Changing Initiatives going forward. Shall we talk about diversity? So then we talk about the seriously improper diversity launch event that I have seriously not got proper permission for, and about why greater diversity will be good for the IP professions. The journalists ask if I think the professions will look different in ten years’ time. Mr Lampert did not tell me the answer to that one, so I guess it is a trick question. I say Of course they will look different. Absolutely they will look different. They’d better do.
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