22 October 2015, 9 pm
I am finding all this networking a bit of a strain. Being nice to people does not, it appears, come naturally to me. Especially if they are tedious or pompous or patronising, or bonkers or drunk (or bonkers and drunk), or if they breathe alcohol fumes in my face. I think I will add another term to my glossary: Misanthrope = someone who doesn’t get what’s so great about reaching out to people. 23 October 2015, 11 am I sneak off to my hotel room for some rest. We have done four meetings already today, we did lots yesterday and there are more still to come. We have met with the Canadian patent attorneys from IPIC, who want our advice on how to regulate their profession, which is a laugh because we have not worked out how to regulate ours yet. We have met with senior AIPLA people, who want us to arrange good weather for June 2016 so that they can visit London again. And we have met with a whole load of AIPLA committee members to talk about European law, and harmonisation, and the UPC, and privilege, and diversity in IP. AIPLA has over fifty committees and each committee has many sub-committees and each of these is manned by people who never sleep. But I am happy, because I have found a shop that sells Red Bull® and I have bought in enough to see me through to the end of the conference (seven cans). So now I don't need to sleep either. 23 October 2015, 9.30 pm I am at a posh dinner. Because I am a VIP guest, I get to sit on a table right beside the band. This makes small talk more than a little challenging. Especially for the person who has to listen to me. He is polite but I don’t think he has ever come across talk that is this small before. It is a bit of a contest as to which of us invents an urgent teleconference first. Just before dinner, the new AIPLA President is sworn in. I am amused to see that their President-Swapping Ceremony is pretty similar to CIPA’s, except that over here they actually wear their swimming gala medals. The President from the Canadian IP Institute is in charge of taking the medal off President Number One and putting it on President Number Two. This is just as touching a piece of theatre as it is in the UK. I have also noticed that during the conference, whenever the AIPLA President speaks, she is introduced over the tannoy and arrives to a musical fanfare. I decide that we must instigate similar procedures at CIPA. It really isn’t good enough for our President to stumble onto the stage and have to be reminded by Mr Davies what she’s supposed to be doing next. We must get ourselves a decent President. Oh. Hang on. When the dinner is over, the band gets louder and the dancing begins. The EyePeePee and I are terrified that senior AIPLA blokes might have been instructed to invite VIP guests onto the dance floor. We do not think this will be good for CIPA’s reputation and it will certainly not be good for us. We both invent urgent teleconferences and leave while the going’s good.
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