11 May 2016, 2 pm
The VeePee, the VeePee-to-be and I have been invited to meet the new IPReg Chair. To my delight, the selected meeting venue is a coffee shop. So my penultimate official engagement as Pee involves sitting on a comfy settee, drinking frothy coffee stuff and having a little get-to-know-you chat. I approve of this. Namby-pambiness is catching on. We exchange thoughts about the issues of the day and how we can help the IPReg Chair to understand how it feels to be a patent attorney. She looks sympathetic, as though deep down she recognises that a grumpy patent attorney is simply a misunderstood patent attorney. We have been saying this all along, of course. Patent attorneys are often misunderstood, although I have to concede it is not always the fault of the person doing the misunderstanding. Because this is a namby-pamby meeting, we do not stand on ceremony. The VeePee therefore feels it appropriate to drop broad hints about having some CAKE with his peppermint tea. These hints are ignored. Or misunderstood. And I take it upon myself to recommend an inspiring book about gender inequality. Which has nothing whatsoever to do with regulation and everything to do with me trying to incite militant feminism wherever I go. Finally, the new IPReg Chair explains that from now on, IPReg is to be known as EyePeeReg. She says it is daft calling it ip-Reg because “ip” doesn’t mean anything so how can it be regulated? I refrain from pointing out that EyePee is also a bit intangible and ephemeral, that it too verges on the meaningless and that it is likely to be no easier to regulate than ip. No – if she wants to be EyePeeReg from now on, EyePeeReg it will be. The important thing is to continue the namby-pamby coffee meetings. Anyway I am worried that if we don’t move the conversation on, the VeePee will start suggesting they call themselves CAKE-Reg. 11 May 2016, 3 pm After the meeting, the VeePee stomps off grumpily to find a CAKE shop. He has strict instructions about the types of cake to bring back, but when he returns to CIPA he appears to have double the number of cakes he set out for, on account of there was too much choice and he couldn’t decide. This is why he and I get on so well. The two of us – helped by the VeePee-to-Be, the Onssek and the EyeEyePeePee – valiantly tackle both the cakes that are supposed to be there and the ones that are not.
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