11 May 2016, 9 am
I say my goodbyes to the student flat. It was never a student flat at all, not really, and it certainly lacked the oak panelling and forelock-tugging support staff that my son associates with academia. And yet, sometimes in my pretty menopausal little head I enjoyed imagining it was. Like I enjoyed imagining I was a proper grown-up CIPA Pee. On my way out, I visit the bins with two bags of evicted rubbish. I hope no one will notice that one of the bags is sizzling. 11 May 2016, 10 am It is time to remove my name from the IN/OUT board at CIPA. This is my last day here as President. I expect, henceforth, to be more OUT than IN, and also not to be dragging my suitcase behind me when I’m IN. Not that putting my name on the IN/OUT board ever served much of a purpose. Everyone could tell whether I was IN or OUT anyway, by the ambient noise levels, and by whether Mr Davies had been moved to invite himself to a meeting in some other part of the European Union. Still, an IN/OUT board must be accurate, and so it is only proper that my name be replaced by that of the current VeePee, if nothing else to remind him of who he is and why he’s there. For similar reasons, I should probably put my name on an IN/OUT board at home now. With a view to being IN a little more often.
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