20 May 2015, 9.30 am
I have decided that, as President, it would be good to know about all the CIPA committees and who’s on them and what they do. So I have summoned the committee chairs – by which I mean the people in charge of the committees, not the things they sit on – to a meeting to explain themselves. The first thing they do is complain that there are no biscuits. Action point: establish new Biscuits Committee forthwith. Then they complain that the CIPA staff do not organise them enough, so that they do not always know what to do and when. Action point: purchase pocket diaries and pencils for all committee chairs; hire more CIPA staff to tie knots in handkerchiefs for them. Next they complain that even when they know what to do and when, they do not have enough committee members to do it with. Action point: advertise committee vacancies in the jobs pages of the Journal, calling them once-in-a-lifetime opportunities rather than unattractive millstones, and trying not to sound as desperate for help as we usually do. The great thing about the meeting, however, is that we discover all sorts of areas where one committee can pass part of its workload to another committee. Action point: each committee to take three pieces of work and pass them to the next committee along; repeat as necessary until all committees are busy passing pieces of work and everything is about to be progressed by someone else.
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