28 April 2016, 9 pm
It is time to leave; even I can see that. In fact, to be fair, it was time to leave half an hour ago. But I discover that the gateway, through which I entered the tucked-away lane that doesn’t exist, is now firmly shut. I panic, thinking I may be trapped for ever in this oak-panelled nether-world, unable to get back to the parts of London that do exist, like the Tesco® Metro. Luckily, a cloaked Keeper of the Temple emerges from the shadows and reveals the secret to magicking the gateway open and retrieving the lost world (and supermarkets) beyond. The secret is a green button marked “Press to exit”, but there is also a spell you have to incant at the same time, in Latin. I am usually good at decanting. I am not so good at turning round three times on the spot, which results in the spell being mumbled to a cobblestone and a 19th Century crisp packet. But at least I make it to Tescos. Phew! I stagger my way back across the real parts of London, to meet the other two students for dinner. Where have you been? they ask. We’ve already eaten six plates of tapas, drunk your first three gin and tonics and done another two loads of washing. I drink more gin and tonic so as to continue the confidence sharing theme, and they obligingly share a number of further confidences, such as: we threw your running kit off the drying rack to make way for the extra laundry. And: we haven’t done the washing-up from lunch yet. And: we wrapped your laptop in cling film. Because we could. Nobody shares any confidences about Vestal Virgins, though, which is a relief.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Archives
July 2019
Categories |