11 October 2017
The Exam Pixies put sweets on every candidate’s desk, to cheer them up. But they still look glum. The Pixies try not to be offended. There is just no pleasing some folk. I also apply WD40 to another of the exam hall doors. I am getting good at this now. We have the silentest exam hall doors in the whole of CIPA history. They positively glide shut. We kick off with The One About Amending Patent Claims. The examiners have helpfully provided an extra set of the claims in suit, on which candidates can mark their proposed amendments. Even more helpfully, we discover, they have provided these claims in a ready-corrected form. Only the brightest candidates spot this, and of those, the very brightest keep quiet about it. But Ms Sear texts to say we must stop the exam and explain the problem. The problem being that the error in claim 6, which the candidates were supposed to correct, has already been corrected in error, and that this error must be addressed by uncorrecting the error in order that people may recorrect it later but not in error. If they think that is the correct thing to do, of course. She also says – and this bit is much easier to understand – that she is going to knock seven bells out of the printers, who have managed to mess up the mark schemes on two other papers and the claims in this one, and the dates and times of the exams on most of the candidate cover sheets. In the afternoon, the candidates decide to play musical desks before the start of the exam. Clearly they do not like the way the Pixies have arranged the room, and they pick up their tamper-proof party bags and relocate. Some of them want to be near the window, some of them want to be near the front of the hall, and some of them just want to be as far away from the Deputy Invigilator as possible. She smells of WD40. Luckily, there is plenty of space in our Brizzle venue. This is because the exams have been scheduled to coincide with the cider pressing season, and doon ’yur in the Wess Curntry there’ve not been much take-up for exam sittin’ when the alternative be lyin’ with yur edd in a bucket of fizzy apples.
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