10 January 2017, 3.30 pm
Catastrophe! Unlucky Gary announces that he is leaving CIPA. Unlucky Gary has been Mr Davies’s PA for over two years, but that is not the only reason he is called Unlucky. The other reason is far too complicated to recount here but it appears to involve Gary being on the radio. Mr Davies was so tickled by the story that he employed Gary straight away, and it was a match made in heaven until Unlucky Gary was head-hunted by another god with a bigger bank balance. Mr Davies is no longer quite so tickled. I send Gary an email saying how sad I am and how much we will miss him. What I really want to do is hurl abuse at him for deserting us. I want to warn him not to even think about running off with the CIPA Stapler Refilling Policy and using it elsewhere. I want to shout at him that it is no good doing all this useful stuff for people, like booking their taxis and hotels and train tickets and conference places, and organising their diaries for them, if you are just going to waltz off into the sunset one day leaving them incapable of managing their own lives. It is irresponsible, I want to say. Who is going to circulate my emails for me now??
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