13 October 2015, 3 pm
I am on my second teleconference of the day. This morning it was a meeting of the Trade Marks Committee. This afternoon it is the Internal Governance Committee, or IGC for short. The battery in my phone is struggling; normally the longest it has to stay awake is for 50 minutes when my mother calls, and to be honest I’m usually relieved if it can’t. The IGC meeting is a serious one. One of the functions of the IGC is to make sure the Officers behave responsibly. You can never be sure, after all, that when a humble patent attorney accedes to such a position of power it won’t go to their heads. You can never be sure that a bumbling numpty from Zummerzet isn’t going to turn into a ruthless dictator while your back’s turned. The IGC usually discharges this most vital of its duties by not asking what the Officers are doing and being glad they are getting on with it quietly. But when someone makes a complaint, the IGC must spring into action. And as we established last week, a Complaint has been made because Permissions have not been sought. There is an implication that I am untrustworthy. Well of course I am untrustworthy. Everyone knows that. Someone who writes a diary like mine, and makes it available for public inspection, should not be trusted with so much as a paper clip, let alone an entire presidency. It is terrifying that I am in this job at all. For everyone concerned. The complainant also thinks that I should not need to take other CIPA Officers on foreign trips with me, for moral support. The complainant says: When you were voted in as President the electorate would have expected you to be able to do these things by yourself. I say I doubt it. I say the electorate knew they were electing a bumbling numpty but they thought it might brighten things up a bit. And anyway, the EyePeePee is not coming with me for moral support; she is coming with me so as to fill in the blanks in my sentences with things that sound vaguely related to IP. She is also going to advise me what to wear, and when not to have another gin and tonic, which is important stuff when you think that it’s CIPA’s global reputation that’s at stake. So there! I think the IGC is convinced. But I am not 100% sure.
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