14 October 2015, 10 am
I attend a conference of women inventors and innovators. I give them an inspiring talk about the differences between men’s and women’s behaviour and about women reclaiming their share of the floorspace and the airspace and having the courage to be themselves. Unfortunately, when I was planning my speech I did not realise there would be men in the room too. So I have to cut short my pantomime sketch about what happens when a bloke sits next to a woman on a crowded train. I have been to various Women in IP events, and often they are quite macho affairs. Often they involve women demonstrating to one another that they are as good as men, which they do by being much like men except a bit better dressed. Today’s event is different. It is, in the nicest possible way, very feminine and very maternal. There is frequent and warm applause. Mention that you’ve published a paper or set up a company or sold a product or two, and everyone cheers. Mention that you have a partner or children and everyone cheers. Even mentioning that you are the CIPA President causes a polite ripple of appreciation, although in a rather confused kind of way because not everyone in the audience has heard of CIPA and those that have are struggling to believe that its President does pantomime sketches. The schedule is a little on the erratic side, which means that no one knows exactly who is meant to be speaking when, or on what subject, or for how long. But it hardly seems to matter. CIPA Hall is full and buzzing and very, very warm. The lunch we’ve provided is devoured with the same gusto as the applause was offered. In the afternoon, there is a special session in a back room where delegates can speak with the CIPA President, ie me. I am supposed to be giving them insight, inspiration and words of wisdom. But the women who come to see me have done amazing things and invented stuff and turned it into marketable products that are changing the world. I think it unlikely I will have much to offer them. Those that have already come across IP don’t regard it that highly anyway: they think that if the IP system had been set up by women, it wouldn’t be all about keeping things to yourself, it would be about publishing and sharing and swapping ideas. Actually I suspect that if women had been put in charge of setting up an IP system, they would have scrapped the idea completely and done something useful instead. Which would not be much good for me, since IP is the only thing I am even remotely qualified to do.
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